A Time Limit...
Day in and day out we take time to help others achieve their goals...to aide them in their work...to encourage and inspire them...to pray for them and to teach them...but with some people...our time becomes their crutch. You see, there are tmes when we give so much time that it becomes too much time. It is at that time when we should say...time is up!
You can only help so much and give so much and teach so much and prepare so much...you can only pray so much that those who take advantage...those who wait on you...those who use you and your time as their own...that you realize you are no longer helping..rather...hindering.
You are hindering their growth...their learning curve...their need to depend on their own knowledge...their own talents...their independence...because you are always giving of your time. And that leaves little time...for you. The old saying goes...you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Another saying goes if you take a man fishing he can eat for a day but if you teach him to fish, he will eat for a lifetime.
I think our problem has been that we are fearful at times, that if we let go of helping, or teaching, or training then the one being helped will fail at life and we will in turn feel we have failed them. That is not necessarily true. What we have to do is help to a point, and then let go to see if they will help themselves. If a person is truly willing to live..to eat...to work...to take care of themselves and their families...then they will not ask for any additional help beyond what they have been taught.
This problem runs deep within our communities...and it runs deep with me. I am learning to let go. I have a grown son, 20 years old now who has a young son, 1 year old, and I have taught, helped and nurtured so much that to my friends it is unreal....uncalled for...it is overkill. I can no longer help him. He must help himself now. I have given him life lessons to help him along the way and those lessons he must now put into action. If he wants to live, he will do what it takes to live.
As a mom, it is difficult to let go of our children especially those who seem to have so much trouble with life but just like with our two and four legged friends...when it is time to leave the den..the nest...when it is time to find your wings...you are kicked out of the nest...ostracized from the pack. The animal kingdom is great at this...we humans, not so much.
When do we stop so that they...can start. When do we say "no" so that they will say "yes?" When do I take my hands off so that he will put his hands...on. When do I trust that what I put in him..will eventually come out of him. It has taken a while, but I have come to realize that I have done all I can and now it is up to him to do the rest. There is a time limit and we must know...I must know...when that time...is up.
You can only help so much and give so much and teach so much and prepare so much...you can only pray so much that those who take advantage...those who wait on you...those who use you and your time as their own...that you realize you are no longer helping..rather...hindering.
You are hindering their growth...their learning curve...their need to depend on their own knowledge...their own talents...their independence...because you are always giving of your time. And that leaves little time...for you. The old saying goes...you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Another saying goes if you take a man fishing he can eat for a day but if you teach him to fish, he will eat for a lifetime.
I think our problem has been that we are fearful at times, that if we let go of helping, or teaching, or training then the one being helped will fail at life and we will in turn feel we have failed them. That is not necessarily true. What we have to do is help to a point, and then let go to see if they will help themselves. If a person is truly willing to live..to eat...to work...to take care of themselves and their families...then they will not ask for any additional help beyond what they have been taught.
This problem runs deep within our communities...and it runs deep with me. I am learning to let go. I have a grown son, 20 years old now who has a young son, 1 year old, and I have taught, helped and nurtured so much that to my friends it is unreal....uncalled for...it is overkill. I can no longer help him. He must help himself now. I have given him life lessons to help him along the way and those lessons he must now put into action. If he wants to live, he will do what it takes to live.
As a mom, it is difficult to let go of our children especially those who seem to have so much trouble with life but just like with our two and four legged friends...when it is time to leave the den..the nest...when it is time to find your wings...you are kicked out of the nest...ostracized from the pack. The animal kingdom is great at this...we humans, not so much.
When do we stop so that they...can start. When do we say "no" so that they will say "yes?" When do I take my hands off so that he will put his hands...on. When do I trust that what I put in him..will eventually come out of him. It has taken a while, but I have come to realize that I have done all I can and now it is up to him to do the rest. There is a time limit and we must know...I must know...when that time...is up.
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