Skip to main content

A Time Limit...

Day in and day out we take time to help others achieve their goals...to aide them in their work...to encourage and inspire them...to pray for them and to teach them...but with some people...our time becomes their crutch.  You see, there are tmes when we give so much time that it becomes too much time.  It is at that time when we should say...time is up!

You can only help so much and give so much and teach so much and prepare so much...you can only pray so much that those who take advantage...those who wait on you...those who use you and your time as their own...that you realize you are no longer helping..rather...hindering.

You are hindering their growth...their learning curve...their need to depend on their own knowledge...their own talents...their independence...because you are always giving of your time.  And that leaves little time...for you.  The old saying goes...you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.  Another saying goes if you take a man fishing he can eat for a day but if you teach him to fish, he will eat for a lifetime.

I think our problem has been that we are fearful at times, that if we let go of helping, or teaching, or training then the one being helped will fail at life and we will in turn feel we have failed them.  That is not necessarily true.  What we have to do is help to a point, and then let go to see if they will help themselves.  If a person is truly willing to live..to eat...to work...to take care of themselves and their families...then they will not ask for any additional help beyond what they have been taught.

This problem runs deep within our communities...and it runs deep with me.  I am learning to let go.  I have a grown son, 20 years old now who has a young son, 1 year old, and I have taught, helped and nurtured so much that to my friends it is unreal....uncalled for...it is overkill.  I can no longer help him.  He must help himself now.  I have given him life lessons to help him along the way and those lessons he must now put into action.  If he wants to live, he will do what it takes to live.

As a mom, it is difficult to let go of our children especially those who seem to have so much trouble with life but just like with our two and four legged friends...when it is time to leave the den..the nest...when it is time to find your wings...you are kicked out of the nest...ostracized from the pack.  The animal kingdom is great at this...we humans, not so much. 

When do we stop so that they...can start.  When do we say "no" so that they will say "yes?"  When do I take my hands off so that he will put his hands...on.  When do I trust that what I put in him..will eventually come out of him.  It has taken a while, but I have come to realize that I have done all I can and now it is up to him to do the rest.  There is a time limit and we must know...I must know...when that time...is up.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Time to Turn

In everyone's life there comes a time to turn.  Turn why, you ask?  Well if you have lived as long as I have, 50 years, you learn that your quality of life is much more important than your quatity of life. As you grow and develop relationships with others, at one time in your life those relationships are important to your continued growth.  But as you age, and my prayer is that you will, you learn that those relationships that at one time seemed to be beneficial to your very existence, are NO LONGER NEEDED.

When I decided to move from my hometown and live in a totally different city and state and time zone, I knew that there were some people I was saying goodbye to, for the last time.  I knew there were people who while essential to my projects and my overall well being, no longer had a place in my life.  I knew this and with a sadness, accepted it.  When I returned, I no longer had a desire to be near them or associate with them.  I had made a turn.

A turn for the better.  This …

Press In Your Pain

It has been a while since my last post but a lot has happened in and around me.  Some good, some not so good, but all came together to make me a stronger woman and for that, I am most thankful.  In the past few months I have learned how painful a press can be.  We hear that when life hands you lemons to make lemonade.  Well friends, that is easier said than done and I am sure there are a lot of you out there who agree with me.  When life hands you a lemon, most of us do not think of making lemonade rather, we think of the seeds that it contains and how sour it is to taste.  We think about how difficult it is to peel a lemon and the sting the smell can cause in your nose.  In other words we think about all of the things that make it difficult to get to that lemonade.  That my friends is process of pain.

When we are in pain and I am not talking about physical pain per say, we hurt, we ache, we are uncomfortable, and we want to be left alone to deal with that pain.  We want relief, yes, …

Watch Your "Back"

Many times when we are involved in something be it for church, school, work or even a hobby we may have, we are surrounded by people who are in support of what we are doing.  We often hear, "I've got your back", and keep it moving feeling as if nothing and no one can harm us.  That even if someone tried, those who "have" our backs, will defend us and keep anyone who wants to cause harm or stop the progression of God in our lives, away from us.  We feel confident in that, and most times don't even bat an eye.

But friends, we have to be in constant prayer as to who has our backs.  What do I mean by that? Well not everyone who says they HAVE your back should be AT your back.  Let me break it down even further.  If the person watching your back is trying to manipulate your circle, you need to change those or the one who is "backing" you.  Not everyone who says they have our backs, have our backs. Some are watching our backs only to gain entry into who…