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From Victim to Victor

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month I need you to understand that many victims have no idea that they are.  In most situations, men and women abusers, yes there are women abusers, make their partner believe that their abuse is love.  That their jealousy is justified.  That their verbal attack is warrented.  That YOU are the reason any of this happens because of your inability to understand where they are coming from.  Have you heard this before?  Are you presently dealing with this in your relationship?  Do you believe them?  Feel that you are the reason they get so upset and you deserve to be punched in the face and smacked in the mouth and kicked in the side?  If so, you my friend, my brother and my sister, are a victim of Domestic Violence.

Any human being who takes out their insecurities and anger and fear...yes fear...out on another human being is an abuser...plain and simple...and when we recognize it for what it really is...we will stop being victims.  We will stop being their crutch.  We will stop turning the other cheek.  We will stop being their hinderance.  Why hinderance you say?  Because until you recognize what they are doing is abuse they will continually think it is ok and never get help.  That it is ok to hit you and ok to rape you when they are angry and it is ok to spit on you and kick you.  That it is ok to throw you down and it is ok to belittle you and make you feel less than you are. That it is ok to slap you and distance you from those who love and need you.

IT IS NEVER OK! You were not created to be their punching bag...you were created for greatness. You were not placed on this earth to be spit on and kicked in the side...you were created for greatness. You were not born to be belittled and battered...you were created for greatness.  You were not given gifts and talents to be hidden because of their inability to deal with your public and those who applaud you and need your testimony...you were created for greatness.  When will YOU see that? When your eyes are swollen and bleeding from his punch?  When you are admitted to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries?  When you have been kicked so hard in the stomach you lose the unborn child?  When food is thrown at you because you took too long to prepare dinner?

Friends and neighbors, we as a community need to stand up to Domestic Violence in our homes, our families, our communities and yes in our churches.  We need to stand up for the woman who can no longer walk due to her abuser purposely wrecking the car becasue he was angry at the time they were driving.  We need to stand up for the man whose wife stabbed him numerous times and now he is on life support.  We need to stand up for the woman who was beaten and kicked and left out on the curb only because her boss asked her to work late.  We need to stand up for the man who brings home the bacon but the hot grease is thrown in his face and now he can no longer see.

This is real.  It is not just something Hollywood created in a film.  It is not just something Maya Angelou wrote in a book.  It is not just something Director Steven Spielberg directed in a tv studio.  IT IS REAL AND IT IS HAPPENING RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES.  It is happening to our sisters and our aunts and our cousins...it is happening to our brothers and our fathers and our nephews.  It is happening to our moms and our nieces and our friends.  It's happening right now.  Don't just talk about it, do something about it.  If you are a victim, reach out to someone you know you can trust and create a plan of escape...I did and because of it, I can sit and write this blog.  If not for your children or your family's peace of mind...do it for yourself and for the one who feels what he/she is doing is justified.  I am a survivor and I praise God I am free.

STOP BEING A VICTIM AND BE A VICTOR!

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