Daily Thoughts

 2020 has been a year of complete chaos.  Wouldn't you agree?  From the beginning we witnessed the demise of one of basketball's greatest athletes, Kobe Bryant, and if that wasn't enough, just a few short months later we learned that a deadly virus had affected a few Americans and if contained would not affect the rest of us.  We know now that over 50 million worldwide have contracted this virus and over 1.25 million have died.  Because of this, we were forced to be shut down here in the US as they were all across the globe without interaction with our co-workers, our friends and our family members outside of our immediate households.  Grandparents were separated from their grandchildren and businesses were closed leaving some people without a job.  Lines to shopping centers became almost non-existent but lines for food and bare essentials stretched for miles. Essential workers made our day by keeping some of our favorite restaurants open and delivery ...

In light of all that has been going on and will continue to go on until real change happens, I came to know something.  My skin...scares.  Let me elaborate on that for a moment. They say you only have one chance to make a good first impression but how can that be true when your first impression of me is...she scares me; he terrifies me; I feel unsafe with them around.  Who are you referring to? Is there someone behind me or did someone leave that was here that you feared? Oh, oh I get it.  It's me or should I say my skin that scares you. It's the tint that causes alarm.  It's the presence of a person whose skin is different from yours that triggers your fear mechanism; your defense mechanism; your judgement. The fact that you see me...not hear me...not feel me...not even take the time to get to know me but that you see me...heightens your awareness OF me.  Why is that I wonder.  Believe me, if you ever got to know me, talk to me, spend time in my p...

It's been a moment since I last wrote to all of you about my thoughts.  Mainly because I have recently transitioned my body and my businesses to Florida.  I'M GETTING MARRIED!!! And though that is exciting in itself, there are many things that have happened in light of that exciting news.  I moved.  We moved.  My son and myself uprooted ourselves from everyone and everything we know and moved to a state where no one knows us and we know no one.  To a state where we had to begin again.  To a state where we had to find jobs, and doctors, and possibly new friends.  The transition has not been easy.  In fact it was met with some great difficulty and discouragement.  Financially we had to depend on one income, my fiance's and bills were no less and expenses were more.  I had my own money but paying my bills, it ran out. There were times in my head I thought this may not be the state for me regardless of my fiance and how much I love him....

It has been a while since my last post but a lot has happened in and around me.  Some good, some not so good, but all came together to make me a stronger woman and for that, I am most thankful.  In the past few months I have learned how painful a press can be.  We hear that when life hands you lemons to make lemonade.  Well friends, that is easier said than done and I am sure there are a lot of you out there who agree with me.  When life hands you a lemon, most of us do not think of making lemonade rather, we think of the seeds that it contains and how sour it is to taste.  We think about how difficult it is to peel a lemon and the sting the smell can cause in your nose.  In other words we think about all of the things that make it difficult to get to that lemonade.  That my friends is process of pain. When we are in pain and I am not talking about physical pain per say, we hurt, we ache, we are uncomfortable, and we want to be left alone to dea...

In everyone's life there comes a time to turn.  Turn why, you ask?  Well if you have lived as long as I have, 50 years, you learn that your quality of life is much more important than your quatity of life. As you grow and develop relationships with others, at one time in your life those relationships are important to your continued growth.  But as you age, and my prayer is that you will, you learn that those relationships that at one time seemed to be beneficial to your very existence, are NO LONGER NEEDED. When I decided to move from my hometown and live in a totally different city and state and time zone, I knew that there were some people I was saying goodbye to, for the last time.  I knew there were people who while essential to my projects and my overall well being, no longer had a place in my life.  I knew this and with a sadness, accepted it.  When I returned, I no longer had a desire to be near them or associate with them.  I had made a turn....

So tax season has officially come to an end and many tax preparers and Accountants are thanking Heaven for this break, myself included.  But when things such as this come to an end, do you feel as if you are now...due? You've worked hard at accomplishing that goal so are you due?  You've mastered that class and getting ready to graduate from college so are you due?  You have put the finishing touches on that spring wedding and taken all of the crap from the families involved wanting this and wanting that...so are you due?  You've done all you can to keep your credit straight and now you've closed on that new home so are you due? What do you think you are due for?  TIME OFF...RESTORATION...RELAXATION...A PAT ON THE BACK...A MARGARITA...RECOGNITION.  Yes after all you have done you are due some "me" time, time to look back at what has been done and smile at your accomplishments.  You've worked hard!  You've put up with crazy in-laws.  You'v...

Many times when we are involved in something be it for church, school, work or even a hobby we may have, we are surrounded by people who are in support of what we are doing.  We often hear, "I've got your back", and keep it moving feeling as if nothing and no one can harm us.  That even if someone tried, those who "have" our backs, will defend us and keep anyone who wants to cause harm or stop the progression of God in our lives, away from us.  We feel confident in that, and most times don't even bat an eye. But friends, we have to be in constant prayer as to who has our backs.  What do I mean by that? Well not everyone who says they HAVE your back should be AT your back.  Let me break it down even further.  If the person watching your back is trying to manipulate your circle, you need to change those or the one who is "backing" you.  Not everyone who says they have our backs, have our backs. Some are watching our backs only to gain entry into wh...

After each new year begins, many of us are motivated to do better.  We want to lose weight and we want to get that promotion and we want to start that business.  We want to be better spouses and better moms and dads...better friends.  But do we have what it takes to make motivation work?  What do I mean by that?  Is your motivation mobile.  In other words...IS IT MOVING? We live in a mobile society where we carry mobile phones and each app we use has a mobile part to it and we are so on the move, everything we do and touch has to be mobile.  But are you...mobile.  Are you motivated enough to move that motivation to lose weight?  Are you motivated enough to make the necessary changes on your job so that you will be up for that promotion?  Are you motivated enough to make changes in your relationships that will make it better because YOU are better.  IS YOUR MOTIVATION  MOBILE...IS IT MOVING ALONG WITH YOU?  The answer to ...

Happy New Year!  We hear these words all the time at the beginning of a new year.  We hear them from friends, and co-workers.  We hear them from family members and associates.  We even hear them when we are shopping from cashiers, retail clerks and from managers.  For generations these three words have meant so much to so many yet...we enter the year with apprehension and doubts and fear.  We hear these words yet stay in meaningless and unfullfilling relationships.  We hear these words yet stay complacent and comfortable in our own little shells where we think no one or nothing can harm or change our present state. Just saying these three little words will do nothing if we don't take action to make it a happy new year.  Just hearing these three little words will not change our present status or our present state of mind.  It won't change our living quarters or our job roles or change the people around us.  WE HAVE TO DO THAT!  If ...

Yes it is that time of year when families are getting together and couples are holding hands window shopping and children's eyes are glistening taking in all of the possible gifts they are to receive.  I love this time of year because love seems to reign, at least in the circles I am in.  It's wonderful to see...love.  My prayer is that we all will at some point in our lives, experience the truth and openess of pure love be it from our spouse, our mates, our children or our friends. But today, my focus is on relationships.  Those relationships where two people say, "I love you" and "you are my life" kind of relationships.  Recently, my own personal relationship ended and though it had lasted for around 3 years...it was happy but I found out after the breakup it wasn't...healthy.  We can love someone and be with someone and want to spend the rest of our lives with someone because we "love them" but if we were to take a deep look at that person...

It's that time of year again when we think of family and friends.  When we get our mouths ready to taste oh so delicious foods and baked goods.  When we think...of giving thanks for all we have and for who we know.  It's that time when we take the time to spend with those we love and to do those things we seldom have enough time to do like...read...watch tv...live...love...laugh.  Well even though most of us are thankful, have we ever thought about being thankful for being thankful. Let me break it down.  It is common knowledge that we should be thankful for our health and our family and friends.  That we should be truly thankful we have food to place on our tables and clothes to put on our backs.  That we should be truly thankful for the life we live and the places we are allowed to visit.  Being thankful for those things and those people..is easy.  But have you ever taken the time to thank God for the fact that you ARE thankful. To many...

Wtih all of the election debates, commercials, public statements, interviews and campaining, it is no wonder we are all confused.  This candidate believes in this and that candidate believes in that.  He said this and she said that.  He did this and she did that.  WHAT? If you are anything like me, you are ready for this circus to be over.  Yes circus.  I am almost 50 years old and have seen many election campaigns and I must say this is by far the worse. A Democrat by party, I was not sure going into this election who I would vote for and now, even more confused as to why I should vote if all we have are these two candidates.  I will say that of course Hillary Clinton would have to be my choice if I did vote for a President because who would want a ranting and raving, full of himself, temperamental candidate such as Donald Trump in office?  Sadly to say, many would.  But I have to be more informed than this.  After watching two Presid...

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month I need you to understand that many victims have no idea that they are.  In most situations, men and women abusers, yes there are women abusers, make their partner believe that their abuse is love.  That their jealousy is justified.  That their verbal attack is warrented.  That YOU are the reason any of this happens because of your inability to understand where they are coming from.  Have you heard this before?  Are you presently dealing with this in your relationship?  Do you believe them?  Feel that you are the reason they get so upset and you deserve to be punched in the face and smacked in the mouth and kicked in the side?  If so, you my friend, my brother and my sister, are a victim of Domestic Violence. Any human being who takes out their insecurities and anger and fear...yes fear...out on another human being is an abuser...plain and simple...and when we recognize it for what it really is.....

So here we are again..another unarmed suspect shooting...what has been done since the last shooting? Protests, marches, churches having meetings...police officers having meetings...community wide meetings...and we are STILL HERE WITH THIS? Something is not connecting and I believe it is the armed officers who feel they have nothing to lose.  I believe it is the officers who took the oath of office only to shoot and kill.  I believe it is those officers who are out to get every black boy/man in America because of their hidden hate of them.  YES THAT IS WHAT I BELIEVE. GET YOUR HANDS UP! Let me be clear.  Not every police officer is hating on race.  Not every police officer is out to shoot and kill unarmed suspects.  Not every police office takes their oath of office lightly.  BUT THERE ARE SOME WHO DO.  Can't you tell?  Haven't you seen the news as of late.  Haven't you seen the tears flowing from mothers and families of these victims. ...

Well it has been quite a journey with this former relationship of mine.  As with all relationships, you learn a little something, apply a little something and take away a little something.  The hope is that you take away more wisdom than you brought in.  The hope is that you learned a little more about you than you knew before.  The hope is that you know without a shadow of a doubt that your greater is coming. When we meet people and begin the process of coming together in a relationship, we hope that the person we meet, their persona, their smile, their disposition, their character stands strong throughout the entire relationship.  Whether it be a month of dating or 52 years of marriage as I witnessed yesterday in church, you want what you met to be true.  At times it does stand the test of time but there are other times when it doesn't.  If not so be it.  Greater is coming. Not everyone is who they SAY they are and not everyone does what the...

There are shootings and killings and looting and murders and abuse and conditions that exist that make you wonder why? Why did he shoot up the movie theater?  Why did he shoot an unarmed suspect?  Why did he beat her to a pulp?  Why did he run over innocent bystanders and keep going as if their lives meant nothing?  Why, why, why is a question we seem to be asking ourselves and those in leadership a lot these days but have you considered that there may be a logical reason behind all of this mayhem? Have you considered that the man beating his girlfriend/wife came from a home where abuse resided?  That it was all he saw and that maybe, just maybe it was all he knew?  That he was acting out of pain and pressure?  Have you considered that the one who shot up the movie theater may have been dealing with some self esteem issues, control issues and that maybe this was his way of "taking" back some of the control he had lost?  That maybe, just maybe he...

Walking down the street I decided to go into the local dime store to get me a bottle of pop and upon my arrival there are two cops there looking at me as if I were there to steal.  They follow me around the store with these grim looks on their faces and every time I try to lose them, they appear, once again.  When I get to the section where the pop is I pick out the one I want and proceed to the register.  The store clerk even gives me a suspicious look and says to me, "you gone pay for that?"  I reply "yes, of course" and begin to reach into my pockets for the money.  Right before I pull my hand out with my money the cops, who were at the back of the store suddenly are right behind me saying "be careful son, don't do anything you'll regret!"  My reply was, "what I do?" Coming home from school and I run to the house because I have a sudden urge for some of mom's pecan pie left in the refrigerator.  I pick up the pace, passing cars e...

Many Americans deal with frustration from time to time and I am sure they have found ways to alleviate these feelings but for some of us, fruatration does not end.  It just gets packed away until the next time that something happens that makes frustration rear it's ugly head.  What do you do when this happens?  Do you keep it all in?  Do you pretend that it does not exist? If you are like me, there are few people with whom you can talk to who will listen to the root of the frustration and then offer some advice.  I have friends who will just listen and ask me, "so what is that telling you?", making me face up to the decision that is inevitable.  No one wants to be frustrated, I know I don't but yet, here I am, totally and completely frustrated. Now you ask, what is the cause of your frustration Rhabi?  Well, several things. I am a director/playwright/producer.  I am an Accountant and just opened my own accounting business.  I manage payro...